The long road home

Posted on Fri Jun 19th, 2020 @ 11:56pm by Plexie Zane Ryan & Civilian Xiulan Song

Mission: This Week's Special
Location: Medical Center
Timeline: Morning shift after the depature of Blue Sun Hauler

For the longest time Zane just starred. Everything felt kind of normal. There was just this thing.... or lack of a thing as the case actually was. He actually tried to move his toes. His mind certainly remembered how to. But there was nothing. No toes, no foot, no ankle, no leg. Only a rounded off stump one quarter of the way down his thigh.

He had been in surgery for 18 hours. The doctors did everything they could, but it was hard to knit together something that was shredded beyond recognition as his left leg had been upon being admitted. He was told he should be happy to be alive. He didn't feel happy. He felt numb, a lack of sense that far exceeded whatever painkillers were still being fed into his veins.

"How's our patient today?" a kindly young nurse asked as she entered the room he had been left in the last few days. Zane gave her no response.

The woman took it in stride. The look of pity on her face said all she would ever have to.

"The Doctor feels you should be good to go home fairly soon. The folk in prosthetics said they should have a shiny new leg for you later this afternoon. Doc thinks you are doing great.

Zane starred at his lack of leg, not budging.

"Your Mom said she would be back around once she was done with her shift at work." the nurse continued. "Try and drink something and get a little food in you. Gonna need your strength for the next couple weeks." She shoved a tray of mostly soft food on to the tabletop arm of the bed.

Zane's eyes shifted momentarily at the new object. He had no interest in food. Something about being a beast's dinner took the appetite out of him. The nurse said something else. Zane totally missed it as a trivial mumble. He closed his eyes. The dizzy darkness almost felt welcome. Then his mind kicked in. Darkness. Glowing eyes. Jessica's ruined face. His eyes shot open again, the monitor next to him making a quick chirp of alarm. The nurse came over and adjusted the flow on pain killers flowing into him.

After sharing a meal with her 'sister', Xiulan left Los Panchos and immediately headed for the medical center. Mack had given her a lot to think about, and though she wasn't certain she was ready to start her own school, there was at least one person she would like to make her student: Zane, the boy Mack said lost his leg to the creature. She was also curious to what kind of student the idiot Arturo Rosso would be, but that was neither here nor there, her current focus was on the injured boy. She didn't know exactly what the boy was going through, she never 'lost' her sight since she'd never had it to begin with, but she did understand how unfair and even cruel the 'Verse could be towards those that weren't 'whole'. It was a comparison of apples to oranges, but Xiulan wanted to see if she could help.

Having been through a few fights that resulted in injuries that required medical attention, Xiulan knew exactly where the medical center was, so she arrived in short order, going straight to the desk nurse who handled patient intake.

"'Scuse me, I'm here to see Zane, the kid who lost his leg," Xiulan said to the nurse as she folded her white cane. "I- I ain't family, but I was hoping he would be willing to take visitors; I think maybe I can help him through his recovery."

The unit lead nurse smiled grimly at Xiulan. "Glad to see you are visiting us and not staying for a while. Kid's not really doing much these days. Having a hard time with the... change. A visitor would be great for him. Unit 6C."

"I think I can find that," Xiulan said before the nurse could offer to lead her there. "Thanks," she then said sheepishly and proceeded down the hall, silently counting her steps through the ward to find unit 6C. The door was open and she could hear machines beeping. For some reason, her throat suddenly felt tight, so she unfastened the top toggle of her indigo jacket, but it didn't help; why was she so nervous all of a sudden?

"Zane?" Xiulan said with a gentle knock at the doorway to announce herself, then entered the room. Assuming the room was arranged in a similar way to the other rooms she had been in, she was able to reach the bed where the boy lay without a single stumble. Standing at the foot of the bed, Xiulan's blind gaze was fixed on a point just above Zane. "How you doing?"

The blue haired teenager was sitting there in the hospital bed, the sheets pulled back exposing the stump of his left leg, not that it was noticeable to Xiulan. The heart monitor bleeped away at an increased rate showing signs of agitations and he smelled of perspiration from the terror of his dreams. "I'm sorry, he had a bad dream it seems." the attending nurse said to Xiulan as a response to her inquiry. "We are just upping his medication so he can rest better."

Xiulan nodded knowingly. Now that she was close enough to smell the sweat on him and hear the rapid beeping on his heart monitor, she could comprehend the state he was in. Tucking her folded staff into her pocket, she felt her way over to the supply closet and felt around for a container. She found a barf bucket judging from its shape, and managed to secure a couple of hand towels, then she found her way to a sink to fill the bucket, careful to not let the water get too cool lest she add to the poor boy's shock. Then, without spilling a drop, Xiulan made her way back to Zane's bed.

"Poor kid..." Xiulan remarked softly, surprising even herself with such a comment, but she didn't let that deter her from wetting a towel and start ever so gingerly dabbing the sweat from Zane's heated skin, starting with his face.

The warmth of the medicine in his arm was suddenly contrasted by the cool water suddenly on his face. He blinked, his eyes focusing through the medication induce haze. Someone was touching him. It felt good... cool. As he began to perceive the room about him, he found himself face to face with Xiulan and her blind gaze. He moved his face a little against the motion of the towel she had been wiping his face with. He was confused. He had seen her before. Blind girl. Didn't hang with the kids much. He knew more about her from rumor than actual knowledge. Allegedly knew computers real well, she knocked off the high score on the hardest machine in the Starcade in less than 15 minutes. Some kids said she was some kind of space witch. Zach knew enough to laugh at those suggestions, but she was a woman not much older than himself, with plenty of money to burn and a penchant to not be sen in public. One friend said she was some kind of mystic fighting master that had discarded material desires to pursue the purity of martial arts. Zach didn't really know, but she was here, rubbing his face with a towel, her blind eyes somehow knowing where his face even was.

"What are you doing?" he asked, not meaning to be rude, but more bewildered by her presence. "Julie or Julian or something right?"

"Xiulan," the young blind space witch replied softly. "And what does it look like I'm doing?" she asked in return as she dipped the towel in the water to continue her gentle ministrations.

Zane exhaled slightly, feeling a little awkward with this blind lady washing his face. "Cooling me off?" he had no idea if that actually worked or not, but he had seen it on wave programming before, something from earth-that-was or one of the outer moons of the rim. He closed his eyes and let her continue. It actually was surprisingly relaxing.

"Yep," Xiulan replied simply as she gently bathed his face. She remained silent for a long while as she worked, but eventually she did break the silence. "The 'Verse ain't very fair to people not 'whole'," she started, then sighed. "Lotta people are gonna try to tell you what to feel and try to tell you that you shouldn't let this injury define you. You may get some good advice here and there, but mostly I found it to be more obnoxious than anything. I guess I'm here to tell you that it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling right now; there ain't no shame in feeling lost or scared or whatever else you might be feeling, and if you'll let me, I'd like to try to help you through this."

Zane looked into her unseeing eyes. She knew. Maybe he imagined it, but she was the first person sense all this crap began to actually say something that sounded true. "Ai. I am sick of everyone telling me to move on. One idiot from school told me I'd been in here more than three days, I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself. Ta me de chao! Like to cut his tè me de leg off and see how long he sulks!" (various uses of F word type exclamations). He threw a plastic cup at the wall no near Xiulan. "You're cool. You hang anytime you want. Don't know what I can learn, but its gotta be better than this life."

Xiulan chuckled. "Well, there will come a time when you do need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on, but after only three days is a bit soon," she said with some amusement. "It's gonna take some time for you to find your new normal, and in the meantime you're gonna feel a lot of hurt and feelings you're not gonna want; right now you're angry and that's okay, that can help you power through some of the hard stuff, like learning how to walk again, just don't hold too tight onto that anger," Xiulan said, setting the bowl and towels aside. "Do you know when you're getting your prosthetic?"

She spoke the truth again. Zane didn't like hearing it, but at this point he was seeing no way forward in his life. At the mention of the prosthetic his face sank a bit. "The dumb thing is supposed to be ready soon. The nurse is so damned chipped about it." he replied. The nurse in the room politely turned and walked out. "Like I'm supposed to be thrilled that I get a gorram piece of shiny plastic. Oooh Wow."

"Some plastic, but also carbon fiber," Xiulan informed him. "Nothing will ever be able to truly replace your leg, so try not to think of the prosthetic as one and you'll be less disappointed. Instead, try to look at it as a tool, a specializes tool, just like the many tools we use in our daily life: a fork to eat with, shoes so our feet won't get torn up, my cane... It's just a tool, no need to be angry at a tool." Xiulan sighed; there was so much anger in this kid, and rightfully so, and she hoped that anger wouldn't eat away at him before she could help him let it all go. "So, would you like me to be here with you when you get fitted and take your first steps on it?"

As Xiulan explained the prosthesis as a tool and looking at her blind eyes and her cane, it all made sense. He leaned over and rubbed the smooth stump of his leg. He started to feel ill. But she was right. "It would be cool to have you here. At least you get it. I don't know what the te me de I'm gonna do. But I could use someone that's not them. Thanks."

Xiulan nodded in acknowledgement with a slight smile; she could hear him moving around, fumbling underneath his blanket, and she began to wonder...

"May I?" she asked as she stretched out her hand towards his legs, or what was left of them, holding her hand just at the edge of what most people considered their personal space bubble and waited for permission to venture forth.

Zane thought about it. It felt a little odd for a stranger, or more importantly, a girl touching him. He considered it, and looked at Xiulan. She was not unattractive. He had no idea what was involved with her feeling his leg, but his adolescent mind said to go for it. "Sure, if it doesn't gross you out. It does me still, but its kind of disgustingly fascinating."

Xiulan chuckled. "Disgustingly fascinating, I like the sound of that," she said with a grin. Her hand found the blanket that covered him and she moved up until she felt the what was left of the leg. After pulling the blanket back, she made contact with his skin, her fingers still a little chilly from bathing his face. She smiled as she felt around, her touch cautious yet firm as she explored what was left of his leg, remaining to the outside of his thigh so she didn't 'excite' him too much. "No swelling, that's good," she observed aloud. She could still feel the ridge where the skin and muscle had been joined together over the end of the bone, but she knew that would soften and smooth out with time. "Good, fit muscle tone of what's left, that'll work in your favor, though not much room left for the prosthetic; I'm sure the fellas making your piece'll have to get a little creative. That's rough damage to contend with, but I think you'll do just fine," she continued, ending her assessment by re-covering his stump and drawing her hand back to rest in her lap. "Yeah, I think you'll manage," she affirmed with a grin.

Zane felt a bit uncomfortable at first and tried to look as stoic as he could. Then it occurred to him that she couldn't see what he did anyways, so he concentrated on the sensation of her touching him. The end leg still felt like a million tiny bees, his nerves still adjusting to their new reality. Bu he could feel her fingers, navigating their way around the stump. He closed his eyes, his mind flickering with pubescent what if's. Of course none of those delusions became anything close to reality, but Zane still had a goofy smile on his face. "It feels weird, like its electric or something." He paused, looking at the blind young woman, "Do you think you can really help me?" he asked honestly.

"I do," Xiulan replied with a slight nod. "But in the end, it'll all come down to you, because I can only help someone who is ready to accept that help." With that, she rose from her chair then retrieved the bowl and towels she used to bathe his face, taking them back to the sink to tidy up. "I've got a few things I gotta take care of, but you send me a wave when your prosthetic comes in and I'll come to help out, and if you're feeling up to it, we can take a trip to the Sihnon Barbecue where I'll pay, all you can eat, even for your family if they come; that's gotta be better than the slop they're serving you in here!" Not to mention, loading up on the protein would be good for him to help rebuild his damaged muscles.

Zane smiled, one of the first real smiles had had shown in weeks. "Tell me about it... looking forward to real food. My Mom works at Clay Pigeon's if you ever want to grab something there. She should be able to comp us a meal. I'll let you know when the ... leg... comes in. Thanks for stopping by."

"Is that... a smile I hear?" Xiulan said teasingly. "Is it possible that you're... excited? Maybe even hopeful? Naw, this couldn't possibly be the same mopey kid who's face I bathed!" With a snicker, she returned for the door, retrieving her folded cane from her coat pocket and snapping it open. "Surprises galore, I can't wait to see how else you surprise me!"